All my life, I've 'had a temper' and I've known it. In childhood, I discovered a raw power that came from people being afraid of my anger- of what I would do, and especially of what I would say. Fury was like a drug that would give me a recklessness to say things my normally timid self wouldn't- and by some rule somewhere, it was okay to say whatever- because I had been angered.
When I was younger, my anger would get some results- especially out of my siblings and classmates; or at least people would pay attention to what I had to say when I was fuming and used cutting words and sarcasm.
Now I'm much older, and the old magic doesn't work the same way; thank God. Thank God for giving me so many situations over the past month in which anger yielded no results at all. No matter how much I threatened and railed, the noisy church next door didn't turn down the sound; and no matter how much I fumed, the telco did not return to my modem the data that had mysteriously disappeared. Thank God for these interventions; for otherwise, I would not have faced the startling reality that anger really was no asset of mine- only a liability:
Ugliness without the benefit of results.
I declared May 13 to June 13 'No Anger Month' for myself. How has it gone? Much more splendidly than I ever dreamed. Not that I haven't gotten angry so far- the telco incident happened on the evening of May 13 (ikr) but I've noticed a BIG difference- for many of the things I would normally just go off about, I soon afterward decide not to persist in the anger; shrug it off- and surprise, surprise, the problem either works itself out, or I end up dealing with it in some other, more constructive way...
Let's see how the rest of the month goes.
James 1:19-20 (NLT)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
When I was younger, my anger would get some results- especially out of my siblings and classmates; or at least people would pay attention to what I had to say when I was fuming and used cutting words and sarcasm.
Now I'm much older, and the old magic doesn't work the same way; thank God. Thank God for giving me so many situations over the past month in which anger yielded no results at all. No matter how much I threatened and railed, the noisy church next door didn't turn down the sound; and no matter how much I fumed, the telco did not return to my modem the data that had mysteriously disappeared. Thank God for these interventions; for otherwise, I would not have faced the startling reality that anger really was no asset of mine- only a liability:
Ugliness without the benefit of results.
I declared May 13 to June 13 'No Anger Month' for myself. How has it gone? Much more splendidly than I ever dreamed. Not that I haven't gotten angry so far- the telco incident happened on the evening of May 13 (ikr) but I've noticed a BIG difference- for many of the things I would normally just go off about, I soon afterward decide not to persist in the anger; shrug it off- and surprise, surprise, the problem either works itself out, or I end up dealing with it in some other, more constructive way...
Let's see how the rest of the month goes.
James 1:19-20 (NLT)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
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