Lust

November 24, 2010

I don't know why we do that. Excuse my plainness: u know everyone else farts, right? Everyone else uses the loo for more than passing urine, right? Everyone else picks their nose, right? Okay. Unless I'm mistaken, we ALL face lust- struggle with it; suffer from it- single, married, betrothed, devout, irreligious... So why don't we talk about our struggles? How come it's so hard to admit to it? Sometime last week, I was REAAAALLY suffering- and I couldn't believe how much it took me to call up one of my girls and pour my heart out. It's like I didn't want her to think I could feel lust?!? Crazy, right? Like come on, I had to know she knew I had hormones, right? It really hit me when I felt so much lighter AFTER I had spoken to her- we just talked- she didn't even give me any formula for overcoming it or anything. Could it be the devil gives us this false sense of shame to keep us under bondage? Hmph! Imma break the silence:

LUST

Don’t push me down yet another hill

And watch me free-fall against my will.

Don’t sneak in when my guard is low

And take me where I shouldn’t go.

Leave my thoughts alone

I won’t go down this road.

You’re not my friend-

Don’t dare pretend.

Don’t tempt me with these fantasies

Afflict me not, you foul disease.

But as your whisper tingles my ears

The promise of pleasure allays my fears.

So I unravel a bit- an inch; no further.

If it stays in my mind, it’s hardly murder.

And as visions and sensations wash over me

I lose restraint in the reverie.

The longing is born and starts to grow;

But I’ve not actually done; so I’m sure I’m in control.

Desire flares hot all over me,

My defences shot down by your army;

But by now, I’m your slave- more than willing to serve

Your flame burns in every sinew and nerve.

I’m totally consumed; and you lead- but where?

These currents are stronger than I can bear.

So I’m frantic- no desperate for an outlet.

If two consent, what can it hurt?

So the passions are shared, one to another

But the fire burns hot and consumes altogether.

Then, at last, comes the summer of two bodies fulfilled;

Before long frozen out by the winter of guilt.

That’s where you leave me- a cold and barren place

Shivering so bad, I can barely reach for Grace.

That’s where I end up- when pleasure loses lustre

And reason returns- but it’s the morning after.

Even then, will you leave me be;

When innocence is reduced to a fading memory?

Will that do; tell me, will it suffice-

That you bought that first bloom with a handful of lies?

Will you leave well enough alone?

Or is it merely a seed you’ve sown;

One you’ll keep coming back to tend-

If I give in once, does it ever end?

It starts with a thought- a fleeting fantasy

Compromise by compromise, you lay your hands on me;

Then you distract me with these passions

While you destroy me with these actions.

Deeper and deeper, you twist the knife

And I can’t even see you’re draining my life.

You said you were my friend; but it was an act:

Who needs the devil when I can self-destruct?

When does thought crystallize to deed?

When does it get too late to flee?

How long will the warning bells toll?

How many pieces of sin make a whole?

If once ignited, you won’t retreat,

I’d best not give you the driver’s seat

Or any other- in fact, this mind is occupied

With what’s true, noble, just, pure, lovely, Christ-certified.

Before you lay out my do’s and don’ts,

I announce to you, lust, you’ve lost your vote.

Now the Spirit of God advises me:

And what He says, I do: I flee.

Copyright (c) 2010, Nana Yaa A. Gyamfi

"But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks [and thoughts] you think nobody notices--they also corrupt."

Matthew 5:28 (The Message) 

"Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer."

James 1:15 (The Message)... Vivid, huh? :-)

P.S. If the yearn-and-burn hits you, try calling a godly friend and talk it through (and hopefully, talk it off)- I dunno; but it worked for me :-)