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No! Not the 'F' word!

September 30, 2010.


How are swear words formed? I ask cuz there's this perfectly innocent word that's fast becoming offensive in my books. It gets me all hot and bothered these days; and you'll prob never guess what it is... Future. Yeah, future. Future as in: 'So, what do you want to do in future?' or 'What are your future plans?'. Anybody else break into a cold sweat when they hear that word these days?

I don't like the pressure; I can't stand the EXPECTATIONS. All I thought I could be before (popstar, vet, talent coach, writer, doctor, lawyer... wife, mother); I suddenly realise I cant just BE. There are compromises, sacrifices... not to mention the BIG question: can I spend the rest of my life doing that? Growing up has just hit me over the head with this one, I'm still reeling; and all these well-meaning people keep popping that one word which inspires anxiety, uncertainty and... the BIGGEST 'F': fear. I wish the one Bible verse that speaks directly about this didn't use the 'F' word in question; but I guess to overcome my fear, I have to face it:

'I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.' (Jer. 29:11; The Message Bible). Good thing one of us knows what He's doing. Thank God I can trust Him.

GROWING PAINS
I’m thinking of the times when ignorance was bliss;
When it was actually cute to be clueless;
When I could play; run wild and free
Cuz the outcome of my life didn’t depend on me.
I’m thinking back to days when life was simpler;
My decisions were made by my dad and mother
And of course, the responsibility for these choices was theirs;
It wasn’t my job to pray and hope for the best.
Back when time would pass; not run out or fly,
Emotions weren’t complicated: Happy? Laugh. Sad? Cry.
Bad wasn’t good; and good wasn’t relative.
Thinking 10 steps ahead was not at all imperative.
Time has long passed since the future was an adventure;
Not a pendulum swinging between success and failure.
Having passed the age I could be whatever I chose,
I walk away from my dreams; head for what pays the most.
Lord, if I take the wrong turn, won’t You point me back?
If I choose the wrong path, won’t You correct my track?
Feels like I’m choosing from behind a blindfold;
And I don’t want to regret life when I’m old.
So I step off this ledge and hope I’ll soar.
If I fall, let me land where You’ve intended all along.

Copyright (c) 2010, Nana Yaa A. Gyamfi

May God Himself order our steps.




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